Intention rather than reaction

Today I’d like to talk about the part of you that you hide because you’re often ashamed of it. The part of you that makes you raise your voice in discussions, that makes you imagine retaliation and revenge, that every now and then would like to react, even physically, letting all its frustration explode. Or perhaps this part doesn’t react blatantly, but instead conspires to make others pay for what you have suffered. The part of you that perhaps you deny or pretend doesn’t exist, like the relative you want to have little to do with, but who still exists. This is your shadow self.

I want to tell you something that you may not have discovered yet: we all have this part. It is part of the standard setting of the three-dimensional human being. We live in polarity and express polarity through our thoughts and emotions. None of us are just good or just bad; none of us, endowed with a human conscience, can prevent ourselves from experiencing the full range of positive and negative experiences that are part of life in a terrestrial physical body. This is the true nature of our experience: tasting polarity and learning to choose between alternatives.

The part of you that screams, stamps your foot and reacts when someone does you wrong, the part of you that would like to attack the person who humiliated you, that responds harshly when offended. This part is legitimate and natural BUT it is not the best player to put in the game. The reason for this is simple: you reap what you sow. So when you get carried away by your negative emotional reactions you are simply setting your field to continue experiencing that part of you and these types of experiences. 

I know it takes tremendous effort not to react to provocation, but when you become aware that this choice has the power to change your experience, it is really a waste not to seek a different option. Your shadow self is just as legitimate as your light self, but the quality of experience you get when you play one instead of the other is tremendously different.

Intention rather than reaction.

If you start learning this mantra, everything becomes easier:

What are your intentions regarding a certain relationship, proposal, experience, comparison? If you make it clear to yourself what your intention is BEFORE you get carried away by your emotional reactions, it will become easier for you to achieve the results you want, rather than those that just happen.

The most effective intentions are those that respect everyone's position and those that aspire to co-create the higher positive vibrations of experience for all involved. For example, if in a discussion with another person your intention is to be right, you will probably end up achieving this, but you will not be happy, because the loser will influence your experience with his or her dissatisfaction. On the other hand, if your intention is to be happy, the result may prove you right or not, but this will be irrelevant, because creating a happy experience will be satisfying for both sides. All the intentions that defend your ego and set you against others in a rigid way are defensive reactions, but when your intention is to understand the plurality of actors and how a balanced solution that satisfies all parties emerges, you give them and yourself the opportunity to experience surprising solutions.

When something you didn't want to happen takes place, what do you do? I have discovered that seeking to find the good in the bad helps me to not react with despair, frustration and anger, and therefore it prevents me from falling into a downward spiral. Can I always do this? Not yet. But I notice that with practice, the process is becoming more and more automatic and familiar and therefore easier to apply. In this way, instead of dissipating my energy into disappointment and criticism, I have more energy left to invest in creating what I want.

We have unconsciously operated within the systematic model of action-reaction for decades and our individual lives, as well as collective experience, testify to the poor quality of this choice. The world we have, with its vast imbalances, is screaming. Try to imagine what could happen if we all started to be less reactive and more intentional. But, above all, try to do it yourself, in your relationships; experience first-hand how the quality of your world gets better.

(Pic credits - Unsplash - Gabriella Clare Marino)