Shine with no Shame
The self-esteem and/or self-confidence problems are issues that affect most of us.
They are a direct consequence of the educational system and social environment in which we grew up.
At some point in your childhood you began to be told to be a "good boy or a good girl,"; this was nothing other than an invitation to behave well, to follow the rules. An elegant and peaceful invitation to comply.
Then comes the school with its own rules and its notions and you begin to fill your head with so many facts except the most important: to learn how to develop a healthy internal balance.
You start to worry about living up to the expectations of the others. You start to believe that you must do something to prove your worth. You begin to experience the feeling of effort, the feeling of fear, the worry of failure, the doubt that you will ever be enough. You feel constantly under a microscope: you are measured, judged, compared …
One after the other you develop neuroses, stress, inner pressure, disappointment, frustration and even when you feel good, you immediately tell yourself “that’s not enough, I should prove more”and you never stop trying to achieve more or feeling bad because you haven’t achieved yet.
What tremendous insanity.
You spend your entire life worrying about how others see you and how they will judge you and this anxiety poisons all your good moments.
At the other extreme, people who own an unbreakable self-confidence or self-esteem can be so full of themselves that they become arrogant and lose their ability to experience and share their softer feelings, their emotions. Most of these people are terribly lonely ...
The solution to this kind of falsehood and fear exists and it is in front of your eyes all the time: it's called love.
Love for yourself.
You deserve to love yourself, unconditionally.
You do not have to "be good." You are good.
In your inner nature you are perfectly good. You are born good. You are not lacking anything.
If your parents could have understood this for themselves they could have spared you a lot of pain and despair.
When you believe otherwise, you are making yourself less good than you are.
Believing that you lack something makes you really lack it, because you stop seeing the whole.
In doing so you give space to your fears to become real, because the human mind works this way: what you focus your attention and your energy on grows and becomes your reality.
You become what you think you are, so when you let the worm of imperfection and lack enter your mind you give it the power to dig very deep burrows through which all your fears and your failures can get in.
“If someone asks you to be good is because he does not believe that you are already good”. This is what you start to believe when your loving mum and dad tell you so…and your vulnerable and weak personality is born…
Can you see it? Can you understand that your lack of self-esteem is deeply tied to a lie that you couldn’t question? Stop believing in it please. Stop making it grow bigger through your energy and your conviction.
You're good, very good indeed.
Please begin to see this, to understand it, to accept it.
Allow yourself to believe it.
Only then will your life begin to effortlessly match this wonderful truth.