Confidence: a few thoughts for all the women reading…
If you are a woman, whatever age and whatever life experience you have, I think you will agree with me on this.
Following others people’s expectations and listening to others people judgement are the most poisonous things of our existence. Since we were young, we have developed a subconscious desire to please, to be appreciated, to be seen and valued, to be heard and understood and from that we nurture and develop an intimate struggle against perfection that will last forever.
We always feel one step behind where we want to be. We are not nice enough, brave enough, organised enough, connected enough, experienced enough ... There is always something missing to make us feel perfectly at ease and confident within ourselves.
We become wives, mothers, entrepreneurs, professionals, leaders, experts, but this feeling of needing to do more and show more never leaves us and keeps digging tunnels of insecurity in our hearts.
9 out of 10 women suffer from lack of confidence about something: profession, relationships, roles they must fulfill...
9 out of 10 women nourish an inner desire to be different in some way.
The desire to improve is not negative if it arises from the recognition that you have something more to offer, but becoming pathological hostages of the expectations and judgments of others has the sole effect of turning you away from yourself, causing deep and lasting frustrations.
Feeding the desire to be perfect to please someone else, to be fully accepted by society or by a companion, is a choice that has the power to take away all your energy and your best years and transform your lives into a hell.
You can truly flourish with your vast and wonderful potential only when you stop fighting yourself to pursue this mirage and you begin to look, accept and appreciate all the flaws that make you extraordinary and beautifully imperfect. When you stop obsessing with “I have to” and you choose “I want to”, when you learn to say no to what does not represent and honour you, when you allow yourself to say "I did my best and I'm really happy about that”.
The road to your personal success at any level switches when you become the best friend and ally of yourself. It begins with knowing you, appreciating you and loving you deeply.
Please ask yourself, who are you doing everything for? Who are trying to please?
If that person is not you, stop obsessing about the expectations and judgments of someone else and start choosing your own personal intentions towards your life with clarity and courage.
Rediscover the pleasure and power to ask for what you want for yourself and when you have reached this clarity and vision trust who you are and choose on the basis of your desires.
You'll see that this newfound balance and respect for your heart will bloom a trust and confidence so solid that you will wonder where they come from; you never realised such things could exist inside you. But they were there from the beginning. You had just to choose you to unfold them.