Feeling OK

It might seem trivial, but this is the hardest thing for most people to do and even those who seem ok with themselves often hide areas where their sense of adequacy does not match what they show on the outside.

Why is it so complicated to accept, value and truly manifest who you are? Because you grew up in social and cultural contexts where you were educated and used to competing and continually looking outside yourself for the parameters of your adequacy.

What if I told you that this was never actually the purpose you were born for? Adapting, conforming, taking sides, measuring yourself against others, positioning yourself ahead of others... All things that compress and diminish you, simply giving you a sense of apparent security. You have unconsciously traded your potential for a temporary and never stable sense of belonging and acceptance and, in the long run, this trade always has too high a price, because it leads you to feel lost, devoid of meaning, anxious, depressed, crushed, without a way out...

How many people spend decades of their lives within particular frames of reference and then suddenly wake up to the awareness that the meaning of their life cannot be just that. This happened to me too. For me it wasn't a rude awakening but rather a slow consolidation of an intuition that became increasingly uncontainable, but the result was the same: at a certain point you no longer feel ok in what you do and what you have, even if it's generally considered a success.

Doing things and accumulating accomplishments isn't enough to make you feel accomplished and fulfilled if those things and accomplishments don't fully represent who you are in your heart. When you’re driven by priorities that sacrifice or even conflict with your values you cannot feel ok.

You are alive and you are who you are, with the qualities and characteristics you have for a specific reason. The context you were born into is not random; the parents you have were not chosen by chance. Your life has an evolutionary plan and purpose, whatever hardships or pains you are going through. When you don't feel ok in what you’re experiencing this just means you have strayed from the plan and your soul is calling you back to make different choices. Discomfort is a great and positive sign.

I have the privilege, through the therapies I use, of helping people understand the reasons for their ailments, discomforts, imbalances, blocks and traumas, and every time I experience amazing growth too. Understanding where you got stuck, the root of you not feeling ok with yourself truly is cathartic, and allows you to transform that feeling of inadequacy or anxiety and desperation you felt into fresh and creative energy, into new motivation.

You don't have to look like anyone else to be ok, you just have to manifest the absolute uniqueness of your potential, made up of knowledge, intelligence, passion, wisdom, skill, enthusiasm, vital energy combined in an absolutely irreplaceable cocktail. It makes sense that you are who you are. And if you learn to put who you are at the service of the whole in a proactive, constructive and positive way, others will also benefit from your irreplaceable contribution.

Feeling ok in your own skin is one of the most rewarding feelings you can experience; it's like coming home to a safe place, where nothing can hurt you.

Feeling ok is truly being at peace with yourself and your life.

(pic credits Unsplash - Miguel Bruna)